Top 5 Worst Drinks

1. Latte
a. The milky coffee has become the number one indicator that the person is Satan, most probably a liberal elite Satan.
b. Despite the fact that most people in Western society consume ten gallons of milk a day, this is regarded as weak, woolly headed, soft on crime.
c. Blamed for – Brexit – Trump – Global banking conspiracy – Downfall of Western Civilisation
2. Bud Lite
a. The beer for people who don’t want a beer.
b. Competitor – water
c. The jumping the shark of drinking.
3. White Wine Spritzer
a. Untrustworthiness is the third ingredient in this ruined drink.
b. Tastes like a perm.
4. Satzenbrau
a. Very suspicious. Literally nobody drinks it. Sales = Zero
b. Possible Masonic password.
c. What does it even mean?
5. Ale
a. Sorry Brits – it’s manky.
b. Are the big tap handles to extract it from the centre of the fetid earth?
c. Plus side – makes one good at Archery.


Honourable mentions

Ovaltine – WTF?
Cidona – post rural chipper fighting refreshment
Lilt – canned cancer
Bovril – cup of gravy?

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