Top 5 Worst Drinks

1. Latte
a. This milky coffee has become the number one indicator that the person is a liberal elite Satan. You can use it as an insult. ‘Latte drinker’, BOOM!
b. Despite the fact, that most people in Western society consume ten gallons of milk a day, Lattes are regarded as weak, woolly headed and soft on crime.
c. Blamed for – Brexit – Trump – Global banking conspiracy – Downfall of Western Civilisation.
2. Bud Lite
a. The beer for people who don’t want a beer.
b. Competitor – water
c. The jumping the shark of drinking.
3. White Wine Spritzer
a. Untrustworthiness is the third ingredient in this ruined drink.
b. Tastes like a perm.
4. Satzenbrau
a. Very suspicious. Literally nobody drinks it. Sales = Zero.
b. Possible Masonic password.
c. What does it even mean?
5. Ale
a. Sorry Brits – it’s manky.
b. Are the big tap handles extracting it from the centre of the fetid earth?
c. Plus side – makes one good at Archery.

Honourable mentions

Ovaltine – WTF?
Cidona – post rural chipper fighting refreshment.
Lilt – canned cancer.
Bovril – cup of gravy?